Then something really weird happened to me. I had this uncontrollable surge of tears that seemed to creep up out of nowhere. Needless to say, I was blind-sided and confused with the reasoning behind these emotions. After all, I have been in this position before where employees have told me that they were leaving. This is natural and this is good. So, why am I about to pull a niagara falls on the table?
Interestingly enough, the rest of the day was a bit of a challenge for me, and I found myself with a lump in my throat and tears flooding my eyes for greater portions of the day and still confused with the reasoning and trying to make sense of it all.
On my way home, it hit me.
Ellen is more than an employee...she is my friend...a very dear friend.
We go through our lives and watch as people we grow close to, eventually move on to the next thing...this is the way of the world. But then there are those that become a part of us in a way that can't be explained to a rational audience, and words can't really justify the overwhelming sense of loss one feels when a friend is called to move on.
The only way I can explain it is like this. When I was little, I had a friend named Garrett Hess. He was my best friend. We had lots of dreams that we said we would do together when we got older. He was Superman and I was The Flash. We played in the sandbox, raced each other up and down our cul de sac, and often got in fights over who got to sit next to Carrie Vanoli on the bus. But through it all, in our minds, this is the way it would be forever. Until that day...that dark overcast day in the sandbox (where we had all of our planning meetings for the future), He told me that his parents decided to move to Dayton and two weeks later he was gone... I never saw or heard from him again. I cried for many a day that summer hoping that one day his dad would be transferred back to Cincinnati, He would move back into the house 2 doors down and things would one day be back to the way they were. But that day never came. But that's not how life is. People move on and so the story goes.
I have to believe that this is why Ellen's announcement was so difficult today. She is my friend and she is moving on. When she started, she brought a spark to our little rag tag company that catapulted us to a viable option for the coolest company on the planet. She brought us an identity, a vision, and a personality that other companies can't hold a candle to. But while all of these achievements are brilliant, the real reason for the flood of emotion today comes from a deep seeded sadness over the moving on of a great friend in my life.
I know she has to move on because God has called her to. And while everything in me is screaming "don't go" I want the very best for her, because that's what real friends want for each other. Ellen has taught me a great deal about loyalty, friendship and "bringing your best" to everything you do. For that I am grateful. I WILL MISS HER TREMENDOUSLY.
Just like with Garrett, I will hold out hope that one day she will return to Seek and things will be the way they were, but I know that may not happen until heaven. Hey, maybe I can introduce her to Garrett when we all get there and live on the same street together. Who knows?
Until then, I will keep an eye on the sandbox and Ellen's cape while I run the cul de sac and keep praying that my friend is OK in Kansas City.
